


Phone Call

by kat777



Series: If You Burn [4]
Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Late Night Conversations, Phone Calls & Telephones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-08
Updated: 2013-05-08
Packaged: 2017-12-10 20:00:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/789601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kat777/pseuds/kat777
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>People that matter have the power to break her, and she’s broken enough as it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phone Call

**Author's Note:**

> It says in the book that Cinna calls to allegedly help Katniss with her talent, so here's one of their possible conversations. This can be read as friendship, or as pre-relationship or whatever you want to call it.
> 
> SPOILERS for Hunger Games and minor spoilers for the first part of Catching Fire.
> 
> Originally posted on ff.net under the user name Kat.R.777.

"Pretend you’re going to a party and you’re wearing a bright orange dress. What color should your shoes be: gold or black?"

Katniss rolls onto her stomach and props her chin up on the heel of her left hand, her other hand holding the cordless phone to her ear. She's wearing her nightdress and her hair is loose because it's nearly three in the morning and if her mother wakes up and checks on her, she needs to look like she's sleeping. She's supposed to be sleeping.

But sleep does not come easily to victors of the Hunger Games.

She ponders Cinna's hypothetical question for all of two seconds before deciding that she really couldn't care less about the answer. "Black?" she hazards a guess.

"No," he groans. He sounds tired. Katniss would feel bad about keeping him up on the phone with her if it wasn't for the fact that she knows he'd just be doing work if she didn't.

"It's official. You're hopeless," Cinna announces.

"I am," she agrees. "But you already knew that."

"True. I'm not sure why I even tried."

"Because Effie found out we weren't really working on my talent and she guilt-tripped you?" Katniss suggests.

He considers this for a moment. "That sounds about right. But really, after you referred to Panem's most legendary fashion icon as 'that guy with the weird mustache' what choice did I have but to give up?"

"None at all," she says firmly.

"Oh, be quiet, you," Cinna teases. "You just don't want me to drill you on which makeup palettes go with different skin tones again." There's a moment of comfortable silence, and then he suddenly sighs. "You know, maybe we should find you another talent."

Katniss sits bolt upright in alarm. "What? No!"

"I'm serious. I know this whole thing was my idea, but it's obvious you have no interest in fashion. And that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that. But if you found a talent that you actually enjoy, well, then…" He pauses here, like he's choosing his words very carefully. "Maybe you'd have an easier time getting to sleep."

In her head, Katniss translates this to: "I am sick of you keeping me up all night and dumping all your emotional baggage on me."

Because that's what she does, isn't it? She tells Cinna everything. She talks to him about her father, about how strained her relationship is with Gale since she got back from the Games, about how she can't look Peeta in the eye half the time, about the constant fear that something horrible will happen to Prim.

Of course, she is discreet when she tells him these things. She omits anything that the Capitol would not like, because she knows they are probably listening in. She speaks in code half the time but knows Cinna understands what she's really saying.

Over the past few months, Cinna has come to mean a lot to her. She always finds herself racing into the study the second the phone rings and nearly banging her knee on the desk in her haste to answer it. She takes the cordless phone into her room and curls up under the covers of her bed and talks to Cinna and listens to him talk and sometimes he even makes her laugh. And in the early hours of the morning, when she can no longer fight her tired eyes, she falls asleep to the sound of Cinna's soft voice or his quiet breathing in her ear.

Sometimes she thinks he is the only thing keeping her sane, but it occurs to her now that she is simply an obligation to him. A job.

Katniss honestly thought that she knew better by now, after her father and her mother and Rue, but she's done it again. Let yet another person close enough to hurt her.

"Katniss? Katniss, did you fall asleep on me again?" Cinna sounds amused, but she realizes that he must just be relieved because he thinks he will be able to hang up soon.

"No," she says stiffly. "But it's late. I'll talk to Effie about finding a new talent tomorrow."

"You will?" he asks with obvious surprise. Then he says, "That's great." But it's not great, because she can almost hear him smiling and it makes her feel sick. "Listen, I know you don't want to sing, but I remember you telling me that District 12 is really big on dancing. Maybe you could try that?"

"Sure," she says. "I'm hanging up now."

Cinna laughs. "You're always so blunt. All right, then, goodnight."

"Goodnight. I'll talk to you again in a month or so."

"Oka— Wait, _what_?" He sounds stunned.

"The Victory Tour is next month, remember?"

"I know that, but—"

"And since I'm getting a new talent, you don't have to waste your time talking to me anymore," Katniss plows on, and she's proud of how detached her voice is.

There's a long silence, far from comfortable this time, during which Katniss debates whether or not she should just hang up. Finally Cinna exhales sharply. "So blunt," he mutters. "And so quick to come to the wrong conclusion." Before she can respond, he continues, "We hardly even talk about your talent half the time. What makes you think that I'll stop calling if you switch to a different one?"

Katniss doesn't know what to say. She doesn't understand how he guessed what was really on her mind. She doesn't like that he can read her so easily even though they are on opposite ends of the country.

So naturally, she reacts defensively and throws her words at him like they're daggers. "I don't really care either way," she lies. "Not like I need you or anything."

A pause. "I never said you did."

A few months ago she would have thought that he was entirely indifferent, but after spending so much time talking to him without being able to see him, she has learned to recognize minuscule changes in his tone.

And his tone has definitely changed. She can hear the hurt in it.

Hurt. She hurt him like he hurt her. He's hurt because she said she doesn't need him.

Would he be hurt if he didn't _want_ her to need him? Would he want her to need him if she was just an obligation?

"I'll call Effie for you first thing tomorrow," he says. "You know how she is; she won't be happy that you're switching talents. I'll have an easier time convincing her. I'll tell her you're a fashion disaster."

Katniss barely hears him. She's thinking over how he said he'd still call, how he seems to want her to need him. She's trying to decide whether or not she wants to let him matter to her this much. People that matter have the power to break her, and she's broken enough as it is.

"It really is late. Better get some sleep," he says softly. "See you when Victory Tour comes around."

She should let him hang up. She should let herself push him away, let him walk away. Even though she'll have to deal with everything on her own again. Even though she'll have to go to sleep on time every night and face her nightmares. Even though when they meet again, he'll give her that distant look that she's seen him give to the people that don't matter…

"Wait," she says, and is surprised by how pleading her voice is. "Please don't go."

She hears him draw in a ragged breath and then the words come rushing out of her mouth all at once: "I— Maybe— I sort of do need you, but I'm just really not used to needing people. And I don't—I don't _want_ to need anyone because I needed my father and he died, and I needed my mother and she let me down—"

"I'd never let you down," Cinna says, and he's so sincere that Katniss actually believes him.


End file.
